You know, life is kinda funny. So many things happen that you never expect. Sometimes those things are wonderful surprises; sometimes they’re not so wonderful. I’ve had several of those moments in the last few years. I couldn’t be more thankful for the pleasant surprises; however, I find myself still struggling with the not-so-great ones. To be honest, I had a minor breakdown about a few of them last night, even though it’s been over a year since they happened. I don’t know. I guess that’s just the way it goes.
Yesterday, I got into grad school, so last night my friends and I went out to celebrate. We ended up not staying out for long, and it was really more of a hangout than a celebration, but that was alright. It was more my roommate’s idea, anyway, so I was pretty chill about whatever happened. Well, after we left the restaurant, I was in the mood for a walk, so my roommate, our neighbor, and I walked down to the Pylons, which is pretty much my favorite place on Virginia Tech’s campus. The only problem was that the Pylons also remind me of one of those unpleasant surprises from the last few years, and the emotional backlash from that surprise hit me full force last night, so instead of a celebration, I got tears.
In that moment, I realized I hadn’t dealt with the situation nor its consequences at all, so every reaction to it had been bottled up inside. Last night was apparently the night to get it out. Of course, facing that unexpected and upsetting surprise led me to voice another not-so-great surprise that had everything to do with me and how my undergraduate career did not, in any way, go – or especially end – the way I expected or wanted it to. Despite getting into grad school, last night I still felt disappointed in myself. I felt like a mess-up, and the sad part is that today I still kinda do.
However, I am stepping into a completely new chapter of my life, and I refuse to let my past mistakes and downfalls define me or my future. Yes, I have a messy past that reads more like a warzone than a transcript, but that’s okay. I got through it, and it’s a part of me now. What good does it do to linger in the past? Sure, I’m a little broken and bruised. Sure, I’m cover in scars, both inside and out. But, you know what’s I’m stronger for it.
So, here’s to new schools and new expectations. Here’s to a new chapter and a brand new road to travel. Here’s to all the good things in life that even the unpleasant surprises heled bring. Here’s to keeping on keeping on. But, most of all…
Here’s to life.